I will go grocery shopping ALONE from now on.
It's always nap time. No way around it. We are ALWAY shopping when one or more child is "cranky" and I think to myself "it's her naptime".
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
WWHHAATT!!
One 9 month old + one bottle + a tendency to throw things = one cracked bottle, milk covering mom's feet, flip flops and skirt, and dirty looks from anyone walking around our puddle in the aisle.
Candy in open bins. IE: Jelly Belly's. It does not take long for a 3 year old to stick one grubby hand in a bin, and shove jelly beans in her mouth as fast as she can. Then, when told NO, throwing the rest on the floor and continuing with a 30 minute tantrum.
Mom! Mom! Mom! What are these?
Green Beans. Put them back. You don't touch food we are not buying.
(SNAP). WOW! These break!
Mom, I need to go potty. Mom, I need to go potty. Mom, I need to go potty.
Ditch cart, run to potty holding baby. Help 3 year old up on potty...Hadley? Where are your underwear? (shrugs) "Um, I didn't want to wear vem." Listening to her tinkle, and almost wet my own pants. Manage my pants down while holding chubby 9 month old on lap, make potty, pull up unders 1 handed, 3 year old opening stall door, HELLO WORLD! Notice baby is wet, and now, so is my shirt. And it's not urine.
Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Look at that really short daddy! He's so short! OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH How cute!
Mom! Look at me! Im a fast runner!
Ya, really fast at plowing into other people and their carts.
Mom, I need this. Mom, I need this.
Hadley, put it back. No, put it back. I said NO. PUT IT BACK.
All this, and I still forgot at least 5 things I had on my list. Mostly due to the fact the half of my list that was not eaten by baby, was so slobbery I gave up reading it.
That is my sob story. I know everyone has been there, and it isn't my last time. Some time down the road I will laugh and miss days like this. But for now, spray & washing poop out of my shirt and un-smooshing my bread makes me a little ornery.
2 Excedrin Migraines, Taco Bell and a whole bar of chocolate later and I finally feel like I can look at the girls without crying.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
this is why...
Posted by "Jo" in many sizes at 2:18 PM
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When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief.
-- Henry Fielding (Tom Jones, 1749)
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
-- Quentin Crisp
There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
-- Benjamin Spock
guess who!
You can't take me shopping either... I knocked a very expensive bottle of wine of the shelf yesterday, broke and splattered it across this little grocery store, and proceeded to track it all the way out to our truck. Mike looked at me funny when I got in and smelled of alcohol. Really Kadie, is moving this bad. Why yes, I have taken up breaking bottles and licking it up off the floor. Especially in a small town grocery store that I wish I never had to show my face in again, but now have to do most of my shopping at.... Did it make you smile... I love ya Jo, you make me smile, and want to come kiss those girls who make my life feel a little normal. And that I am not the only one who feels like chocolate and fast food needs to fix it!
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